iPond:
In case you've always been too drunk to remember, a breathalyzer is the reason you wake up in jail after a night of heavy partying and erratic driving/neighborhood mailbox reduction. Once only available to law enforcement officials, anyone can now measure their blood alcohol content, at which point they'll drunkenly declare themselves fine to drive despite what it says.
iBeam Flashlight and Laser pointer
Griffin Technology produces a broad range of accessories for the iPod. Many of them are actually quite useful, consisting mostly of a variety of cases and hardware to hook up your iPod to a radio. Then they ran out of ideas.Thus, the iBeam will provide both a flashlight and a laser pointer attachment for your iPod for only $19.95.
The story goes that a Japanese man had his iPod crushed against a handrail in the infamous Japanese subway system. He decided to do the world a favor and invent an iPod case that could withstand overly crowded commuter trains. Then he also made it able to withstand stray bullets. And we're pretty sure that he continued to make it Godzilla-proof.
From hats to sneakers, lots of companies have made clothes you can plug your iPod into. We're not sure why you wouldn't just clip it to your belt like a proper, God-fearing human being, but at least all of them have a contrived sort of practicality to their design.iBuzz Two
This seems to be the second generation of iPod sex toy (of the kind we mentioned in a previous article). This "music activated sex toy for couples" as they call it lets you and your partner both plug in your earphones, your vibrating nodes, click on your DragonForce song list and enjoy the feeling of sexual stimulation without actually touching each other.SongThong
Didn't we just do the iPod for your panties a while back? Oh, wait. This is a pair of panties for your iPod.Yes, for $4.95, you too can have this black leather thong that your iPod can wear. We don't really know what else to say.PodShave/PodShaveLady
Great for morons and camping enthusiasts, the PodShave and PodShaveLady are electric razor attachments that utilize your iPod's battery. It costs $41.05, and supposedly can both suck up your stubble as it shaves it off, and allow you to listen to your music as you shave. 
Atech Flash Technology decided that they wanted to bring more music into this world. After what must have been months of brainstorming on how to enact this poetic initiative, they came to their conclusion: an iPod you can listen to while taking a dump. Good job, guys.Costing $99.95, the iCarta is basically exactly like any other number of iPod docks, except that this one has a built in toilet paper dispenser, and its speakers are waterproof.
Rock My Teeth
Yes, that is a teeth-whitening system that hooks up to your iPod. And yes, corporate America thinks that you will buy any damn thing they tell you to.
